My fears are still the same as they were the last time I wrote this.
I have the confidence and the determination of getting work done in college...but will I have it when I leave when I have to do EVERYTHING on my own. It is a very lonely job, and it can become quite daunting for people like myself who have only been used to other people taking control and telling me what I need to do etc... and that is the part I am going to have to get used to. I need to get used to the idea that it is me in charge of me, and if I want to get work I have to go out and get it myself..because .it won't come to me! I also have to get used to the idea of motivating me all the time, updating me on what is new and popular all the time, keeping myself busy all the time and time keeping and making sure I meet deadlines!!!! I do fear that when I get my first job as an illustrator, that I won't hand it in ontime...not because of laziness, but because I work mainly in 3d and it can take a little longer than a drawing so, if I make a mistake with it than I won't have a lot of time to redo it. I hope that I do get an opportunity of working on a breif in 3d however, as that is what I am most passionate about.
We went on a London trip recently to visit some agencies and it was a really good experience to be able to get a taste of what I will be doing when I graduate. I felt like I'd have the confidence to be able to do it on my own because I had such a good time but not just that...because I really know that I want to do it. And I think that that definitely helps, because for obvious reasons what would be the point if I wasn't sure and secondly I know that if I really want to do this, then I know I wouldn't/won't give up and that's an exciting feeling!
I have a little job lined up for me in the prop house when I leave and after that I will enter as many competitions as I can and work on illustrating and writing some children's short stories, as I would like to push myself to get something published...I won't stop. I will also keep updating my portfolio, trying to find a perfect style for me, as even though I love what I am doing now, I feel there is always aaaalways room for improvement and I may touch up on some other images in it that I think could look better too. I am in more ways excited to be leaving than sad, because I feel I'm now ready for an adventure of a life time.
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